Friday, October 22, 2010

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Hunting Season

Hunting season has begun, and I've been on my own with Caleb for the majority of this month. The past couple years, this encouraged my blogging and boosted posts, but this year I've been happy just to breathe at the end of the day.

Eric is back home, for now. He returned on Sunday from his longest trip of the year- ten days. It's always a rough week for me, and my patience wears thin much too quickly. This year was especially hard, both for me and for Caleb. He missed his Daddy, a whole bunch. And because he still hasn't mastered the English language, he had a difficult time expressing his feelings, and acted out in ways that are so, so different than the quiet, sensitive boy he normally is.

He became violent towards me and even his beloved best friend, Mr. Leopard. He repeatedly said, "No!" when I would ask him to put his toys away, which is not a problem we encounter often. Cleaning up is a game for us, and usually fun. I even resorted to spanking on two different occasions, when I was at the end of my rope and he simply would not obey. He did not cry, but was certainly surprised, and fairly quickly said, "Okay, Mommy," and did what he knew he was supposed to do.

It was exhausting, doing it on my own. It makes me realize just how blessed I am to have Eric, and what an amazing father he is to Caleb, and the best partner I could possibly dream of. These hunting trips make me miss him desperately, and remind me what a wonderful man he is.

And it is so, so worth it. He returns refreshed and energized, even if he sometimes is empty-handed. I'm so glad he has this social and physical outlet, where he gets to do what he loves to do, and be himself- not just Eric the accountant, Eric the Daddy, or Eric the fiance. Hunting is to Eric as dancing is to me. As hard as it is for me to see him go, I am supportive and encouraging, because I love him so deeply, and love to see him excited and even a little bit giddy. He takes such good care of me, and I absolutely want to reciprocate. He absolutely deserves it.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Something Beautiful

Perfect timing: I just finished watching the entire DVD titled The Gods Aren't Angry. And its message is so very beautiful. Here is a clip of the last ten minutes, that truly brought me to tears.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Train Obsessed

This is Caleb's new shirt. His new favorite shirt. He loves this shirt so much, in fact, that today is the fifth day in a row he's worn it. (I've washed it twice since his Nana gave it to him last week.)

Caleb has officially entered a full-blown train obsession. He can tell you all about high-speed trains, snow trains, box cars, coal cars, lumber cars, gas tanks, and smokestacks. Part of the mountain of books we read every day are these ones; we both have them memorized due to the fact that we read them a limit of five times a day, and more than that, and I'll go crazy. These are not ones I can simply hide in the "banned books" cabinet (to join the ranks of Bob the Builder and The Very Busy Spider, among others Eric and I have had our fill of), because he'll notice right away if they're missing.

Caleb has certainly inherited his daddy's drive; once he's interested in something, he goes all out. His attention span is longer than mine, and right now all of his attention is concentrated on trains!

Something Beautiful Wednesday

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What's with today, today?

Today, I am worn out. I woke up feeling not a bit refreshed, but just as exhausted as when my head hit the pillow eight hours earlier. So I took the easy way our, popping in a Mighty Machines movie for Caleb, gave him breakfast (his choice today was a hot dog), and collapsed into the recliner. An hour an a half later, first movie over, second started, and I fell right back asleep. Again, next thing I knew, the movie was over, and it was lunch time. Mac & cheese, Cars, and yet again, I was in and out of sleep in the chair.

This is highly unusual, especially how perfect it looks outside. Why I can't muster any energy is beyond me. Coffee, brownies, protein... nothing is waking me up. Bleh. Tomorrow will be better, and I'll be the good, involved mommy I should be.

On a better note, we had such an incredible dinner last night, I just have to share.

Eric's masterful grilled chicken in a tortilla wrap with fresh romaine lettuce, roasted red peppers, feta cheese, and bacon. I made some quick gnocchi and drizzled it with olive oil mixed with basil fresh from our garden, pepper, Parmesan cheese, and Italian seasoning. We ate on the patio in our backyard, and it was the perfect temperature with a light breeze, and we were in heaven. It really was a wonderful evening.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Blank, Again

It's been another blank journal period. The kind that sneaks up on me, and I lose the ability to write. And honestly, writing, for me, is crucial. Writing is how I process what I'm going through in life. If I'm not keeping up on my journal, I tend to sink farther and deeper into a bleak and listless funk.

It's been a couple months since I really sat down and wrote what I was feeling or doing. It needs to change. If I don't get my feelings channeled into words on a page (or screen), then I just internalize away and lose focus of who is more important in life: Eric and Caleb.

I think I have been coasting by, lost in books and tv shows. I haven't been involved in a really good Bible study since the early spring, and I'm sure that has a lot to do with it as well. If I'm not grounded at least weekly, if not daily, in some serious study, I quickly turn back into the unintentional, selfish person I want so badly to not be.

Next month I'll be starting two heavy studies: Beth Moore's Breaking Free, and Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy. I'm extremely excited to dig into both. I crave knowledge, I crave understanding. I am certain this fall will be a big growth period, as a Christian, as a human being.

Monday, August 2, 2010


"If we aren't careful, our success and security and abundance can lead to a certain sort of boredom, a numbing predictability, a paralyzing indifference that comes from being too comfortable."
-Rob Bell, Drops Like Stars

Friday, July 30, 2010

Two Realizations

This week I've come to two realizations about my life:

1. Full moon = nightmares all week.
Is this crazy, or what? For the past however long, I can't remember when this didn't happen, every month I'll have a week where I dream nothing but nightmares. See, I remember at least one, sometimes even two or three, dreams every night. It's extremely rare that I don't. So I started keeping track of when this week of nightmares happens, and the other day I found the patter. The week of the full moon. Now, this could be a coincidence, but I'm pretty sure it's not.
What this means? I have no idea. Strange, for sure. At least now I'll know when to expect them.

2. Stormy days = sleepy Lianne.
I don't know if it's the energy, or the color of the sky, or what exactly it is about cloudy, stormy days. Whatever it is, it makes me nearly narcoleptic. For example, this dark and stormy afternoon (tee hee), Caleb was munching on his lunch, playing with his wooden train and mega blocks tunnels, and watching Winnie the Pooh while I was reading. Next thing I know, it's an hour and a half later, the movie has reverted to the menu screen, and Caleb is in his room playing with matchbox cars on his road rug. Crazy.

What about you? Do you have any strange reactions to weather/nature?

Layout problem is fixed!

Hooray! Hooray! No more doubled blog posts! WHAT a relief!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Something Beautiful

I know, it's not Wednesday, but I have a good excuse for being a couple days late.

All of Wednesday and Thursday I spent reading the entire 522 pages of The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. I'm a bit of a procrastinator, and had left the reading of this book club selection (MY book club selection) to the week of our meeting. Yikes. BUT. I did it! And it was a success with the other members of the club too, which I was super worried about; it seems like people either love or hate Margaret Atwood, no in-betweeners.

So, even though it's Friday, here is this week's something beautiful.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Flog Yo Blog and My Favorite Song

This song has been THE most influential song to me. It's been my favorite since early high school, and never, ever gets old. It also almost always brings me to tears. I hope you find it as moving as I do.

Monday, July 12, 2010

One More Step

I've been trying to simplify my outlook on life by asking, "What's my one next step?" Rather than getting overwhelmed by everything I want to accomplish, or everything that makes me feel so deeply, by asking this question it takes down the stress level a bit, and gives me a way to process something I can actually, physically do, instead of merely thinking of the many, many things to do.

This morning I took another step on the road to a healthier, thinner me. I actually woke up with the alarm clock, put on my sneakers, and went for a run. Voluntarily. For someone who loathes running, this some good progress. It wasn't a fast run, and it certainly wasn't a long run. But I DID IT, and that's what matters.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Flog Yo Blog "Friday"


Blog hopping time!

Charlaine Harris has a monopoly on my reading time.

This is frustrating to me. Gone is my ability to devour a history book. My thirst for poetry and linguistics is no longer there. The desire to learn more about psychology and current events? Gone. The quest to read everything Margaret Atwood has written? Set aside. Bible study? Eked out at the last minute (literally). Tackling those classics I've never gotten around to? They can wait.

Nothing but the Sookie Stackhouse series will satisfy me. I feel pretty guilty. I feel lazy. But they are so juicy and delicious! And oh so much fun after some pretty intense reads (The Count of Monte Cristo, Infidel, Pride and Prejudice, Moby Dick, the Preacher graphic novels, etc). It's good to relax and give my brain a vacation, right? Sometimes it really is nice to sink my teeth (tee hee!) into a book that doesn't take too much energy to get through.

I feel better, after that guilty admission. And so, further neglecting household chores and the quest for higher intellect, I'm on to Dead to the World, in which Eric the statuesque viking vampire is wearing a red speedo. Mmmhmm.

Friday, July 2, 2010


Today was a beautiful day: not too hot, not too breezy, perfect for spending several hours outside. While I was pulling weeds and Caleb was helping, we stopped for about fifteen or twenty minutes to admire a caterpillar. He still wasn't thrilled about holding a bug himself, but loved that I would. He also thought the inch-worm way of moving was one of the most funny things he'd ever seen. It made such a big impression on him that he told Eric about the "tiny green caterpillar" when he got home from work.

This is precisely why I love having this time with my little boy. I love introducing him to the nature, to science, to the world in which we live.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Something Beautiful Wednesday

Today's something beautiful is a photograph of one of my favorite places on earth: The Arch in Antigua, Guatemala. I've spent some time there studying Spanish and for debriefing after several mission projects. That city has a piece of my heart, and I wanted to share it with you.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Camping Weekend

This is where we spent our weekend:

It was just an absolutely beautiful place. Caleb was thrilled to camp on the "beach," and made the most of the giant sandbox.

Eric enjoyed fishing.

And we saw a deer!

We attended a good friend's wedding, enjoyed good food and drinks, caught up with friends I haven't seen since high school, and relaxed by the river. And despite the migraine I had Saturday night (and we'd forgotten to bring up ibuprofen or anything), it was an excellent, beautiful time in the mountains.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Something Beautiful Wednesday

I'm going to give this a try: Every Wednesday will be a post about something beautiful, be it a poem, a photo, or anything else that touches my soul.

For this week, a poem by Rumi.


Your grief for what you've lost lifts a mirror
up to where you're bravely working.

Expecting the worst, you look, and instead,
here's the joyful face you've been wanting to see.

Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open,
you would be paralyzed.

Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding,
the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated
as birdwings.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible." —Vladimir Nabakov

Caleb Loves Bugs

Which is wonderful, I think, for a two and a half-year-old boy. He's fascinated by all the bugs we come across. Now, for a mommy that is generally really creeped out by those creepy-crawlies, it's been a bit of a challenge. I'm trying to overcome my squeamish reaction, so I can teach him better, and show him not to be afraid of exploring the world around him. I can hold ladybugs and rolly-polies, but that's about it. Worms and earwigs are still way too much for me to handle; so we just observe them from where we sit, or stand, in my case.

The other night when leaving a restaurant after dinner, I found a ladybug on the car door while Eric was buckling Caleb into his car seat. So I put it in my palm, and showed Caleb. He was so thrilled! "Look! A bug! So tiny!" Though he refused to hold it himself, I love the fascination his face expresses.

And yesterday while weeding our one finished planter in the back yard, Caleb found the bees in the salvia. I love that he's not afraid of them (yet?), and we can talk about pollination while observing it first hand. (I also love that after watching them for about ten minutes, he decided to run around the back yard buzzing like a little bee, too.)

My little scientist... I can't wait to see what we explore next.

Friday, June 18, 2010

I Win!

I know, it's silly, but still. After MONTHS of trying, I finally beat the expert setting of Minesweeper.

So that's my big new for today.
I'm working on a post regarding BIG news, and it will be great. I think so, anyway. Stay tuned!


Monday, June 14, 2010

It is FINALLY summer!

And this is why:

Last night we pulled out Caleb's pool and slide, and let him go a little crazy. This boy would have stayed out there all night if we hadn't brought his shivering, blue-lipped body inside.

I finished a wonderful little book called Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh this afternoon. It is rich with insight and wisdom into daily life and relationships. I checked this copy out of the library, but must add it to my personal library; there are quite a few passages that deserve highlighting.

My library, by the way, is nearly complete! One entire wall is bookcases now, and I only have a few more boxes to take care of before my happy place is officially finished. Excitement!

Friday, June 11, 2010

I'm Back! and An Award!

So... After a LONG absence due to a two-plus lack of internet access, I am back! It'll take me a while to catch up on all I've missed, but I am absolutely looking forward to it.

Also, Nikki over at The Lunatic Cafe gave me this award!

Totally unexpected, and absolutely appreciated!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Yesterday was quite the crazy day... At work, we had inventory, and I was one of the select few who was able to go in at 4:00am. Honestly, I was excited to participate. RPLing (finding books on the shelf from a list, then returning them to the publisher) is my favorite thing to do at work, and it was even better doing it for several hours without interruption. Aside for the ridiculously early hour, I was in work heaven.

Needless to say, it's thrown off my sense of time. I don't usually work during the week, so my brain was convinced it was a regular Saturday. And by the time we went to bed, I was in that delirious-tired stage where everything is funny- even knock-knock jokes. I slept like a rock, though.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Crucifixion by Eric Drooker

I promise I'm not a morbid person. I don't normally meditate on such morose, macabre things (see Good Friday post). But last night at the women's Bible study I attend, we sat with this picture for a few minutes, letting it seep into our thoughts and hearts. It's so powerful, and I wanted to share.

(You can find more of the artist's work at

On a much lighter note, this is my first time doing this:

Thursday, April 8, 2010

April Excitement!

The three of us had a blast dying Easter eggs; it was Caleb's first time, and he loved it!

And last night, Eric gave me an early birthday present: sidewalk chalk!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Walking and Planting

Taking full advantage of the nicer weather this morning (which has since deteriorated back into clouds and near rain), my grandma and I took a walk around out neighborhood.

Mom started this a couple months ago, suggesting that she, Grandma, my sister and her sons, and Caleb and I walk together twice a week. Mom, Grandma, and I have been faithful, my sister has joined us only once. However, two weeks ago, Mom was hired (!!!) doing a familiar job. So now it's back down to Grandma and I. I'm loving it. It's exciting to have that time with her; we've never had that before. I'm loving getting to know her as a person, someone other than "the mystical entity that is Grandma." Very exciting.

Then right after I put Caleb down for his nap, I quickly planted my newest plants: a fern, a forsythia, and some flowers that look like poppies but aren't (and I can't remember their name right now). It felt good to dig in the earth, until I chopped an earthworm in two; I did a little freak-out dance and stifled my gag reflex. I have to remind myself to be thankful for the worms; worms are my plants' friends. It's a constant learning process.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Good Friday

Every year Good Friday becomes an increasingly difficult day for me.
This year, the sky is dark, and it is windy and steadily raining. Fitting weather for such a somber day.

It's hard for me to hold in my head the gravity of today. The depth of sorrow and pain, is hard to stomach. I try to hold onto the image of my Jesus on the cross, broken and scourged in the worst imaginable ways. I try to hold onto him and honor him, but it's a fight to keep my mind in that space. It is so dark, so hopeless, so full of guilt, I subconsciously push it away.

But today is the day I need to be in that dark place. To remember the immense sacrifice. To remember that Jesus endured the darkness of Hell (God shut him out and turned away) so I wouldn't have to bear that eternal rejection of the Father.

It's too big for me to grasp, really. I am so small, so wretched, so undeserving, and yet Jesus loves me. It sounds trite and overstated, but I know no other way.

It seems so easy to tune out these thoughts, move on to happier things, but I'm trying not to. I'm trying. Because today my Savior dies, and will be buried, and the world will be bleak and dark and empty because I am nothing without him. But on Sunday his tomb will be empty, and he will have conquered even death.

Amazing love. Amazing grace.
I can only be thankful and full of awe.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

What do I have to say?

I always feel this driving need to write. My fingers itch to type words, a blank sheet of paper is begging to be filled.

But what do I have to write about? What do I have to say?

There is only so much I can write about the weather... And daily chores are hardly interesting. I'm not witty, I'm not funny, and my sarcasm doesn't translate well in cyber-space.

And what do I really have to say? I don't even know; I don't even know where to start. All I know is that I desire to write, I long to write. I want to update my blog daily, but never know what to say.

How do I develope my voice? How do I weed out what thoughts are useless and redundant, and what thoughts are worth growing?

I suppose this is a start.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Not what I meant...

So this morning I was singing, "Rain, rain, go away; come again another day," with Caleb. A few minutes later, it started snowing. Snowing sideways. And two days ago, the temperature was in the sixties. Ah, Idaho weather, how fickle you can be. Snow was not what I had in mind when I wished the rain would go away...

Friday, March 12, 2010

New Clothes

I went shopping at Old Navy yesterday to pick up a couple skirts; hooray for sales! It was nice, and so generous of Eric to tell me to buy some new things, especially when I don't really need them, just want them. But oh the horror of the dressing rooms. There is nothing more frustrating to me than picking out an item that I love and just can't live without, only to try it on and end up looking either a. pregnant, which I am not, or b. like a toad stool. Yuck. I ended up skipping a dress I'd fallen in love with, but did find a couple skirt that look pretty cute.

I'm definitely cured of my shopping craving for a few weeks now. Any more than that, and I don't think I'd survive.

Friday, March 5, 2010


Due to my diligence in exercising five times a week, and the switching of birth control, I am finally, finally seeing some results. I cannot tell you how encouraging this is to see. My pants feel a little looser, my shirts fit a little better, my belt is two notches tighter, and my abs are retaking shape. After so much work, and changing our diet, I'm more than thrilled.

Today is a good day. The sun is out, the sky is blue, and Caleb and I enjoyed most of our afternoon outdoors- pre and post lunch.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Notes on Joy

For Bible study this week we did a word study on "joy." What does it mean to have joy? If I lack joy, am I missing the Holy Spirit, since a sign of having the Holy Spirit is joy?

I have always struggled with those questions, and with the guilt that came from not feeling joyful as I thought I should. But after meeting this morning and putting together everything we'd discovered and meditated on throughout the past two weeks (we didn't meet last week), I came to some incredible, freeing realizations:

1. Joy is not a feeling. It is from God; God's joy, not mine.

2. Joy is something God creates in us, not something we feel (Psalm 51).

3. In the Old Testament, joy is shown outwardly, as with the Holy Spirit (i.e. dancing, singing, the pillar of fire, the temple). Whereas in the New Testament joy is an inward manifestation of the Holy Spirit, and I become the outward symbol of Jesus (i.e. light, salt, temple).

How freeing to realize that joy isn't something that I have, it is something that God has and shares with me. This strips away all the guilt I have been feeling, and takes my focus off of me and places it back on God, where it rightfully should be.

Kindred Books

I love it when I start reading a new book, and know by page 4 that I need to own it, so I can underline and highlight to my touched heart's content. It's like meeting someone and realizing you are kindred spirits; I love when kindred books find me.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller (he wrote Blue Like Jazz) is that way. I feel like the author has written what I couldn't find the right words to say. It resonates deep within me; he felt at that time what I am feeling now. How wonderful to identify. And how wonderful to find a beautiful/true sentence on nearly every single page. (For example, this just blew me away: "Somehow we realize that great stories are told in conflict, but we are unwilling to embrace the potential greatness of the story we are actually in. We think God is unjust, rather than a master storyteller." Amazing.)

Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen is another one that grabbed me right away. How could it not, with words like this: "When we are thrown up and down by the little waves on the surface of our existence, we become easy victims of our manipulative world, but, when we continue to hear the deep gentle voice that blesses us, we can walk through life with a stable sense of well-being and true bleonging."
Or this: "Every time you feel hurt, offended, or rejected, you have to dare to say to yourself: These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself. The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God's eyes, called the Beloved for all eternity, and held safe in an everlasting embrace." Just... wow. Powerful, empowering stuff, that.

I also love when I am itching to dig into a stack of new books. I've been given and/or lent several books I can't wait to start on. (Redeeming Love from Mom; A Million Miles in a Thousand Years from S; Dog On It from A; Silky Dream Girl from Eric's mom; and I'm in the middle of World War Z from F.) I love that my closest friends and family know me so well they can recommend books they know I'll enjoy; I love when I can do the same for them.

So what about you? Any recommendations? What should I immediately add to my list?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Oooh Man, Am I Sore

Aside from the fact that I'm coming down with the flu or another sinus infection, or something equally yucky, I. am. sore.

I've been taking a weekly modern dance class for over a year now, and have been absolutely loving it. It was one of the key things that helped bring me out of my post-partum depression, and into the light of a fulfilled, happy life. It challenges me to meet new people, something I am usually not thrilled to do, due to my on-going self-esteem issues. (Will they like me? Will they think I'm stupid? Annoying? Fat? etc.)

In short, it's been very, very good for me.

This week, I added a second dance class to my schedule: African dance. Oh my goodness, I cannot tell you just how much fun this class is. First of all, there are live drummers providing the music. It is so energizing and exciting. Also, the instructor is legit, having studied dance in Africa, as have most of the drummers. She teaches by example, not using many words at all. Everyone is smiling and sweating and loving it. It is so, so much fun.

But my goodness, my legs are so sore after two nights of dance in a row. My calves will be amazingly toned in no time though, for sure.

I love being able to be so involved in something I love so much. I love that Eric is so supportive of my desire to take these classes, and not resentful at all that I'll be spending one more evening out of our home. I love that he encourages me to do these things, and that he loves who I am and how happy it makes me to dance.

I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to take these classes, to explore new ways of self-expression, and to (gasp) meet new people with similar interests. I am blessed, indeed.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Too little time...

Within the two-hour confine of Caleb's nap time, every day, I attempt the following:

>Work out. At least 20 minutes. (Wii Fit, Skinny Bitch, American Ballet Workout, or Yoga)
>Read books. For my own pleasure, for Bible study, or for book club.
>Bible study. For my other Bible study.
>Check internet things. Email, blogs, facebook, etc.
>Shower or bath.
>Start making dinner.
>Watch non Caleb-appropriate tv show or movie. Depending on what I've checked out at the Library or am currently addicted to. This month it's been Gossip Girl season 2, my guiltiest pleasure.
>Write. Either in my paper journal or this blog. Usually neither gets done though.

There's just too little time.

But I do plan on making more of an effort when it comes to writing. I don't know what I have to write about that hasn't been written by entirely better writers before. I don't have new thoughts to think, new wisdom to share. I do know that if I'm not writing daily, my thoughts get all mixed up and crazy, and I can't think as well. Feelings get bottled up, and if I don't get them down on paper, they are likely to eat me up from the inside out.

I realized a few weeks ago, while looking through my shelves of journals, that I have been writing ever since I was first able. My very first diary is from when I was five-years-old, in kindergarten. From then on, I have an almost constant account of my thoughts and feelings. And while there are some gaps, I also realized those gaps, the times when I wasn't writing, are the darkest periods of my life.

Ergo, I must keep writing if I want to keep my sanity. I've started reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, and it's proving itself an incredibly motivating and inspiring aid.

So, we'll see how it goes.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Doing something about it

To combat those gloomy clouds I've begun taking Vitamin D every morning. It's too soon to tell if it's making an impact on my moods, so we'll see in the next few weeks. I have high hopes though.

I've been working out a little more consistently as another response to my gloom and apathy. This is making a difference. As long as I pull out Wii Fit to at least do a daily fitness test, I'll most likely keep going for a while, sometimes up to an hour. This combined with the Skinny Bitch dvd's (which I've been neglecting for a while, but have restarted this week) and dance class, I'm sure I'll be seeing the results I want in no time. That, and Eric came up with an incentive for me: a new pair of shoes for every 15 pounds I lose. And what an incentive it is! Since my feet grew three sizes when I was pregnant, and have since gone down only one size, my shoe collection is pretty small and sad. So with this to motivate me, I am feeling, well, motivated.

Today is a good day, and I'm feeling upbeat and happy. It's a nice change from the self-loathing and apathy I felt all weekend. Hopefully this sticks!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How about the weather?

There is something to be said about how profoundly I am affected by the weather. Days, weeks like these unbearably cold and cloudy ones eliminate any drive or ambition I may have. I just want to stay snuggled under the covers and sleep it away. Ususally I end up snuggled under a blanket on the couch watching Sesame Street and Clifford, then switching to a musical or Disney movie, anything Caleb-appropriate.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of winter. Bring me back the sun and my motivation. I'm so tired of the gloomy clouds.

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