Hunting season has begun, and I've been on my own with Caleb for the majority of this month. The past couple years, this encouraged my blogging and boosted posts, but this year I've been happy just to breathe at the end of the day.
Eric is back home, for now. He returned on Sunday from his longest trip of the year- ten days. It's always a rough week for me, and my patience wears thin much too quickly. This year was especially hard, both for me and for Caleb. He missed his Daddy, a whole bunch. And because he still hasn't mastered the English language, he had a difficult time expressing his feelings, and acted out in ways that are so, so different than the quiet, sensitive boy he normally is.
He became violent towards me and even his beloved best friend, Mr. Leopard. He repeatedly said, "No!" when I would ask him to put his toys away, which is not a problem we encounter often. Cleaning up is a game for us, and usually fun. I even resorted to spanking on two different occasions, when I was at the end of my rope and he simply would not obey. He did not cry, but was certainly surprised, and fairly quickly said, "Okay, Mommy," and did what he knew he was supposed to do.
It was exhausting, doing it on my own. It makes me realize just how blessed I am to have Eric, and what an amazing father he is to Caleb, and the best partner I could possibly dream of. These hunting trips make me miss him desperately, and remind me what a wonderful man he is.
And it is so, so worth it. He returns refreshed and energized, even if he sometimes is empty-handed. I'm so glad he has this social and physical outlet, where he gets to do what he loves to do, and be himself- not just Eric the accountant, Eric the Daddy, or Eric the fiance. Hunting is to Eric as dancing is to me. As hard as it is for me to see him go, I am supportive and encouraging, because I love him so deeply, and love to see him excited and even a little bit giddy. He takes such good care of me, and I absolutely want to reciprocate. He absolutely deserves it.