First Snow

We had the first snow of the season earlier this morning. Caleb loves to watch the rain and the snow, so that's what we did. It was lovely and peaceful. He was pretty disappointed when it stopped, but I assured him there will be plenty more to come, and probably soon, since it is already more than halfway through November. Now that it's quiet time, I hear a hot toddy calling my name...

How God Keeps Me From Drowning

It may sound trite, or cheesy, or cliche, or all of the above, but it's true: When life is throwing me everything it's got, and I feel like I'm going to drown in it, God sends me a rainbow to tell me otherwise. It started in high school, when I was just learning how to deal with... everything. And then in 2007, I saw them all the time. And now today, when I have six books left in the Bible, and distraction and temptation are at their highest. It's been dark and rainy all week, but just after I prayed for his help in this final push to complete the task he's given me, God gave me the physical sign I've been craving. He is so faithful; he is so good. And during the past few months, it's finally starting to sink in that he really does care about the sparrows and the deer and the sheep and me, Lianne, his daughter and disciple.




Moments of Grace (12 - 20)

12. A rainbow, just when I need it most
13. English sparrows at my bird feeders
14. Hugs and kisses for Mr. Leopard, too
15. Unexpected encouragement
16. Finding the perfect book to give to a friend
17. The way Devotchka makes my heart swell
18. The way thirty pages of hand-written notes feel
19. Rachael asking if my red pen is ready to do some work
20. How Eric's clothes are so much cozier than my own

Two Realizations

This week I've come to two realizations about my life:

1. Full moon = nightmares all week.
Is this crazy, or what? For the past however long, I can't remember when this didn't happen, every month I'll have a week where I dream nothing but nightmares. See, I remember at least one, sometimes even two or three, dreams every night. It's extremely rare that I don't. So I started keeping track of when this week of nightmares happens, and the other day I found the patter. The week of the full moon. Now, this could be a coincidence, but I'm pretty sure it's not.
What this means? I have no idea. Strange, for sure. At least now I'll know when to expect them.

2. Stormy days = sleepy Lianne.
I don't know if it's the energy, or the color of the sky, or what exactly it is about cloudy, stormy days. Whatever it is, it makes me nearly narcoleptic. For example, this dark and stormy afternoon (tee hee), Caleb was munching on his lunch, playing with his wooden train and mega blocks tunnels, and watching Winnie the Pooh while I was reading. Next thing I know, it's an hour and a half later, the movie has reverted to the menu screen, and Caleb is in his room playing with matchbox cars on his road rug. Crazy.

What about you? Do you have any strange reactions to weather/nature?

Doing something about it

To combat those gloomy clouds I've begun taking Vitamin D every morning. It's too soon to tell if it's making an impact on my moods, so we'll see in the next few weeks. I have high hopes though.

I've been working out a little more consistently as another response to my gloom and apathy. This is making a difference. As long as I pull out Wii Fit to at least do a daily fitness test, I'll most likely keep going for a while, sometimes up to an hour. This combined with the Skinny Bitch dvd's (which I've been neglecting for a while, but have restarted this week) and dance class, I'm sure I'll be seeing the results I want in no time. That, and Eric came up with an incentive for me: a new pair of shoes for every 15 pounds I lose. And what an incentive it is! Since my feet grew three sizes when I was pregnant, and have since gone down only one size, my shoe collection is pretty small and sad. So with this to motivate me, I am feeling, well, motivated.

Today is a good day, and I'm feeling upbeat and happy. It's a nice change from the self-loathing and apathy I felt all weekend. Hopefully this sticks!

How about the weather?

There is something to be said about how profoundly I am affected by the weather. Days, weeks like these unbearably cold and cloudy ones eliminate any drive or ambition I may have. I just want to stay snuggled under the covers and sleep it away. Ususally I end up snuggled under a blanket on the couch watching Sesame Street and Clifford, then switching to a musical or Disney movie, anything Caleb-appropriate.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of winter. Bring me back the sun and my motivation. I'm so tired of the gloomy clouds.