Moments of Grace #32 - 54

32. Gluing things into my journal
33. Kitty snuggles
34. Eric's love for me outweighing his hatred of cats
35. "Monkey Caleb" after watching/reading Curious George
36. Finding a book that I know I'll have to own so that I can underline the heck out of it
37. Seeing the house slowly take shape / cultivating the home so that it is ours and suits our taste
38. Snickerdoodles dipped in coffee
39. Vocab lists / using my dictionary
40. The endless potential in a blank page/book/canvas/etc.
41. The incredible satisfaction that comes from painting something
42.Unexpected snow in the morning: that magical feeling of waking up in a world completely different from the one I fell asleep in
43. Building a snowman with Caleb
44. Snowball fights with Caleb
45. Reading stacks upon stacks of books with Caleb
46. Caleb calling his valentine his "special"
47. Caleb joining in the Open Arms dance class
48. Caleb making friends with S, who is in a wheelchair, but not acting differently with her than anyone else
49. Getting an email reply from Patrick Rothfuss (!!!)
50. Waking up from a nap to a bouquet of lilies from both Caleb and Eric
51. Spare moments to grieve the loss of a loved one in private
52. A holiday party in February
53. Drinking with old (raucous) friends / feeling young again
54. Reading in our library while Caleb plays his games and it snows outside

New Challenges

Okay. So. Courtney has invited me to take the NaBloPoMo challenge. A writing challenge? How could I resist? And as much as I've loved participating in NaNoWriMo, this one seems like the better choice for this year. So here I go...

Honestly, I've been a little overwhelmed lately. We celebrated Caleb's fourth birthday four times last week, along with Halloween and a six hour round-trip drive to watch one of the last games of my sister's soccer career. We've been a busy family.

I've also been consumed with a person challenge. It's a big one, and not one I'm taking lightly at all. I'm reading the Bible, the whole entire thing, and nothing else until I've finished. This is, by far, the longest, most difficult fast I've ever done, as a girl who reads at least one hundred books a year.

It came about when praying for God to show me a specific, tangible way to make his priorities my own. And he gave me this challenge. So. I couldn't really say no to that, nor is it even an option to give up. I'm in the thick of the Old Testament, so disobedience to God doesn't look like a good option. At all. No way am I going against the God of Moses, Jacob, and David.

I'm entering the fourth month of this fast. I have twenty-six books to go, which puts me at just over 60% finished. And at this point it is a daily fight to keep going. I'm exhausted by all the fighting and disobedience. And honestly, I am just dying to pick up a trashy romance or Harry Potter or some French fairy tales. But, like I said, it's not even an option. But the temptation... Oh, the temptation is wearing me thin.

I wrote out a long prayer this morning, begging God for his help and sustenance and strength to keep going. I prayed for a better attitude, and refreshed sense of adventure and thirst. I prayed that I would stay focused on him rather than on all the books I'd rather be reading right now.

And, surprise surprise, he is so wonderfully faithful. The next Psalm in line was 69, which he steadily reminded me that I will not drown- he will rescue me. I continued through Psalm 74, which excited me at the mention of Leviathan. And I received encouragement from two people, one with a phone call, one online- without having reached out to them myself.

So I continue, steadfast and determined.

Just Like Daddy

Caleb wanted to dress like his Daddy today, with a nice shirt and the all-important tie. Maybe in twenty years he'll be an accountant too...

Train Obsessed

This is Caleb's new shirt. His new favorite shirt. He loves this shirt so much, in fact, that today is the fifth day in a row he's worn it. (I've washed it twice since his Nana gave it to him last week.)

Caleb has officially entered a full-blown train obsession. He can tell you all about high-speed trains, snow trains, box cars, coal cars, lumber cars, gas tanks, and smokestacks. Part of the mountain of books we read every day are these ones; we both have them memorized due to the fact that we read them a limit of five times a day, and more than that, and I'll go crazy. These are not ones I can simply hide in the "banned books" cabinet (to join the ranks of Bob the Builder and The Very Busy Spider, among others Eric and I have had our fill of), because he'll notice right away if they're missing.



Caleb has certainly inherited his daddy's drive; once he's interested in something, he goes all out. His attention span is longer than mine, and right now all of his attention is concentrated on trains!

Caterpillar

Today was a beautiful day: not too hot, not too breezy, perfect for spending several hours outside. While I was pulling weeds and Caleb was helping, we stopped for about fifteen or twenty minutes to admire a caterpillar. He still wasn't thrilled about holding a bug himself, but loved that I would. He also thought the inch-worm way of moving was one of the most funny things he'd ever seen. It made such a big impression on him that he told Eric about the "tiny green caterpillar" when he got home from work.

This is precisely why I love having this time with my little boy. I love introducing him to the nature, to science, to the world in which we live.

Caleb Loves Bugs

Which is wonderful, I think, for a two and a half-year-old boy. He's fascinated by all the bugs we come across. Now, for a mommy that is generally really creeped out by those creepy-crawlies, it's been a bit of a challenge. I'm trying to overcome my squeamish reaction, so I can teach him better, and show him not to be afraid of exploring the world around him. I can hold ladybugs and rolly-polies, but that's about it. Worms and earwigs are still way too much for me to handle; so we just observe them from where we sit, or stand, in my case.

The other night when leaving a restaurant after dinner, I found a ladybug on the car door while Eric was buckling Caleb into his car seat. So I put it in my palm, and showed Caleb. He was so thrilled! "Look! A bug! So tiny!" Though he refused to hold it himself, I love the fascination his face expresses.

And yesterday while weeding our one finished planter in the back yard, Caleb found the bees in the salvia. I love that he's not afraid of them (yet?), and we can talk about pollination while observing it first hand. (I also love that after watching them for about ten minutes, he decided to run around the back yard buzzing like a little bee, too.)

My little scientist... I can't wait to see what we explore next.

First Attempt at Adding Photos...

Caleb loves to play the piano.



Favorite buddies.



We've been putting together puzzles a lot lately.

New Facial Expressions

Well, the men are officially off, and it's now my second night without Eric. Last night, Caleb and I had a spend-the-night with mom, since she was going to babysit Caleb while I went to work today, and we would have had to drive back across town again in the early morning. I think it was too much excitement for Caleb, seeing as he woke up several times, then seriously woke up at 5:30am. WAY too early for my taste. But he ended up taking a good nap for mom, so it was alright.

Tonight we're at home, and I'm ready for a good night's sleep. It was a fairly crazy day at work, my feet are sore, and I am beat. Terry Brooks did a book signing, very exciting!

Caleb cracked mom and I up today with his newest facial expression. When he has a dirty diaper, he'll walk up to me, pat his bottom and scrunch up his nose in a "yucky" face. It is just so cute and so hilarious. He's never been one to fuss over a dirty diaper, so this sudden awareness, and the way he expresses it, is pretty darn adorable.

It seems like every day he does something new. And certainly every day he is learning a new word, or five. Today's new word was "ice." It's so, so wonderful to have this new avenue of communication with our little boy, and to see him realize the convenience and practicality of using words to convey his thoughts, wants, and needs. He's such a little sponge, soaking up new vocabulary words.

I am just in awe of this little person, growing up so quickly.

First Steps, Just In Time

Caleb took his first steps on Friday night!!!

It was/is very exciting, and I am so proud of him! It still freaks him out a little, realizing he can take a step, and not fall, without holding on to anything anymore. In the past few days he's made teeny-tiny improvements. It's just adorable to see the emotions playing over his face: uncertainty, fear, pride, confusion.

I was so excited and relieved that he did take those very first steps on Friday night, as Eric left on Saturday afternoon for his week-long hunting trip with Dad. I kept praying that Caleb wouldn't be his mischevious self and wait until Eric had left. It was so special that the three of us shared those moments together. I love them so much; there just aren't words to express it.

So this is our fourth night apart. It's pretty rough. I just try to keep focusing on how much fun Eric and Dad must be having up there in the woods, rather than projecting my fears for their safety, etc. It's strange how empty the house seems without him. There is less light, less life. It's been nearly a year and a half since we moved in together, and I've quite gotten used to having him around all the time.

I'm getting ready to go to sleep though, and I don't want to magnify these lonely feelings. Night is the worst without him. Lucky man, getting to sleep under the stars. (As long as it doesn't snow...)